Each Protester Owed $10,000 by Homeland Security
30 Jul 2004 14:39 GMT
Dear Tom, We need to do some math. The latest stats put the DNC security tab at $50 million, more than half of the total number spent on the convention. Now that’s a lot of cash to spend on rent-a-cops, K-9 sniffing dogs, and boot wax. So, I have a proposition for you. So far, you have really only outlined two major security threats: (1) Terrorists organizations who have killed thousands of people using airplanes, chemical weapons and other WMD’s; and (2) ‘violent’ protesters whose worst offense seems to be that they ‘throw water balloons filled with urine’. (For the sake of this conversation, we’ll put aside the fact that this oft-repeated urine thing never gets backed up by any hard evidence). In the absence of clear information of how much cash went to which threat, should we just divide it down the middle? Can we assume that $25 million went to protecting us from Al Qaeda, and the other $25 million went to protecting the public from crusty punks peeing into balloons? So what is the proper conclusion from this little math problem? Well, basically, you owe us some serious cash. That’s right. The fact is that the government spent $10,000 on each protester in order to keep us from throwing urine, and we didn’t throw a drop. Therefore, we should be compensated for the full amount.